


1000

by Stargazerliiy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Meme, Voltron, joke, klance, pls don't take this seriously, vld, voltron legendary defender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 18:11:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11296035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazerliiy/pseuds/Stargazerliiy
Summary: Lance sees a video on YouTube where someone heats up a knife to 1000 degrees. He gets an idea for what he should do with the Blade of Marmora.





	1000

    _"It's a bright orange, I think it's nearly to a thousand degrees,"_ a voice said from behind the screen of Lance's phone. He watched the videos of people heating up knives and then cutting things with them. There was only one question in his head, ' _what about Keith's blade?'_

   Keith's blade definitely wasn't made out of the same metal the knives on earth are, and his blade is a dark shade of purple. Heating it up seemed like a good idea to Lance. 

    Lance quickly proclaimed his experiment to Pidge and Hunk, Pidge agreed to record, and Hunk had to get Keith out of his room long enough for Lance to sneak in and steal the blade. 

   Once that was done, Lance would then take the blade and put it in a flame for about 5 minutes. 

      Hunk went and knocked on Keith's door, "hey Keith, I need to, um, what should I... Oh! I need to show you this thing to blackmail Lance! It's his diary, and he totally writes about everyone including yo-" before Hunk could finish his sentence, Keith opened the door and said, "sure, I wanna write something in it."   Hunk quickly began to panic, because if there was one thing Lance told him not to do, it was show Keith his diary. Hunk, weighed his options and decided that this was the easiest thing. After Keith skimmed through the first couple of pages, he got bored because they were all about alien girls they had met, like Nyma. Keith flipped to the back of the book and quickly scribbled,  _"we do make a good team, oh wait never mind, you don't remember."_

    Hunk was almost relived Keith didn't read the whole thing, because if he had, he had no idea how he would explain it to Lance. Keith then got up from Lance's bed and said, "well, I'm going to go get something to eat. You coming?"

  At first, Hunk contemplated whether or not he should go, but he hadn't eaten anything all day and it was almost lunchtime anyways.

 

    While Hunk and Keith were in Lance's room, Lance and Pidge were heating up the blade in the kitchen.

   "I'm pretty sure it's getting pretty hot, it's not turning red, it's turning... pink?" Lance asked while looking at Pidge. Sure enough, the lavender blade was morphing into a light pink. Lance decided to heat the blade a little longer, just to see what would happen, when suddenly Keith came in the kitchen with a face full of confusion.

   "Why the quiznak are you cooking my knife?" Keith asked, while looking completely horrified.  He quickly grabbed the knife from Lance, but as soon as he touched it, his consciousness was sent to a different area. He was in a black room, where pictures and videos were playing around him. They were faded and hard to make out. He saw his dad, and the shack, and then it all disappeared.

    "How did you do that?" Keith asked exasperated.

     "Do what?" Lance questioned.

  "Yeah Keith, what are you talking about?" Pidge questioned, putting away her phone. 

    "I saw my dad, I've never done that by holding the blade before. I saw other things but they were faded, and spread out," Keith said, trying to put together the pieces of what he just witnessed.

   "Maybe it's because it was hot," Hunk said, "Hey don't look at me like that! That's the only variable that's different from any other time you've held the knife isn't it? Maybe you just need to hear it up more."

    Keith had a lightbulb moment, "you're right Hunk, that is what it is!" Keith quickly ran and put on his armor. The rest of the gang, confused on what he was going to do, followed him, until he went out into space.

   "Tell me he's not," Pidge began.

  "I have a feeling he is," Hunk replied.

   Keith pulled back his arm and threw the blade into the closest star. When Keith came back the first the he heard was, "what the quiznak, Keith?"

   "Why would you just throw you blade you got to keep for risking your life, into a star?" Lance continued. 

   "The biggest source of heat we have." Keith replied while shrugging his shoulders. 

  "Yeah but you don't  _do_ that, Keith!"

    Suddenly the castle began to shake.  _"Paladins!"_ Allura said on the intercom,  _"the nearest star to us has abruptly died, resulting in this mass explosion. The castle will be shaking but we'll be fine."_

     "Good job Keith. You blew up a quiznaking star. A plus," Lance said huffing and crossing his arms.

    "Yeah? Well at least I-" Keith began to retaliate when suddenly he turned and saw an object coming towards them from the star, "Allura has the particle barrier up right?"

     "I don't think so," Pidge said turning to see what it was. 

     The black object coming closer to them, was actually the black paladin Shiro. He had been in the star ever since he disappeared. He was holding Keith's blade. As he saw Keith's past he began to have a mental breakdown and began sobbing in the middle of his journey to the castle. 

   "Guys look it's Shiro!" Hunk said as the black dot became more clear. The gang began to wave and holler, but Shiro couldn't hear them. Shiro drifted up to where the control deck was and hit it face first, scaring the life out of Coran and Allura. 

    He didn't have a good grip and began to slowly slide off of the glass, out of everyone's sight.

    His impact with the window resulted in the blade getting knocked back into space. It began to drift away when suddenly the Red Lion left the ship. She was flying on her own to retrieve her pilot's blade. When she saw Shiro having his breakdown as he floated away from the ship, she went up to him, and kicked him into a different star. 

     When Red came back with the blade for Keith, she saw Keith and Lance talking.

    "I, um, wanted to say that I may have skimmed through your diary?" Keith said messing with his hair.

    Lance's heart skipped a beat. "I only read about your thing for alien girls though," Keith replied sheepishly. 

 Lance laughed, "wait really? That's like the first three pages. If you had gotten to the fourth I probably would have died."

   "What's the fourth page about?" Keith asked. 

   "Well since you've already read the other pages, it's basically me just talking about an alien on our team," Lance said blushing and slowly getting closer to Keith. 

   "Wait, Allura or Coran? You have a thing for Coran?" Keith joked and Lance laughed in response. "No, but a different guy alien on our team."

     Keith paused for a minute and thought about what he had just heard. Suddenly he felt himself pulling Lance in and kissing him vigorously. While in the midst of making out, Lance whispered, "I was right, we do make a good team."

   This caused Keith to pause, "you do remember." 

    "If you had read page four you would've known," Lance mocked. Lance was about to go in for another kiss when suddenly he was seeing a coordinate and a coordinate plane. It was Shiro's location, along with it Shiro had accidentally sent Keith's past. 

   Keith's past was just a small scene. It was Keith making an omelete for Shiro. 

    "I know where Shiro is," he whispered to Keith and grabbed his hand. 

    "Princess! Me and my bro Keith know whe-" Lance started but was cut off by Keith. 

    "Bro? You just hand your hand in my shirt and your tongue in my mouth, and you call me bro?" Keith said, a slight hint of anger in his voice. 

 "You  _what!_ " Allura yelled grabbing Lance's ear, "you cannot mess up like that!"

    "Ow ow ow, okay, okay. Me and Keith, the love of my life, my better half, my soulmate, my true love, my significant other, my Prince Charming, have the location of Shiro and thought you should know." Lance said while making eye contact with Keith still. 

  "I can't believe this," Keith muttered before crossing his arms and walking away. 

   "What the quiznak is wrong with you?" Allura yelled and smacked Lance's arm.

 

    Allura put in the coordinate and set the castle to go and pick up Shiro. The oldest paladin was slowly rotating in the void of space. Lance was going after Keith yelling, "Babe I'm sorry, wanna talk about it?" Pidge was crawling around the air vents. Hunk was talking to Coran about foods. When Shiro got on board, Coran accidentally sprayed food foo all over Hunk, Pidge fell out of the air vent onto Hunk, and Lance was now running away from Keith, who now had his bayard, and screaming, "babe! I'm sorry! We can go over this!" Keith was also yelling, he was saying repeatedly, "you remembered the bonding moment and then put me in the bro zone!" 

    Instantly, Shiro ejected himself back into the void of space.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joke that my friend Emily and I came up with after seeing a post by @theblackguardiansofsheith on tumblr. Sorry it's not sheith though, Emily and I came up with this in a chat really late at night as a joke.


End file.
